As much as Hermes might be proud of me for doing so, I cannot simply take the money given by my gracious Kickstarter backers and run.
I have to, at some point, produce a product. And though my updates on that matter have been scarce, that is exactly what I have been doing.
The current print edition of Mister Mercury is ruinously expensive. The only justification for its price is that it doubles as a billy club in tight circumstances.
That's why I had the idea for a Kickstarter. By putting money up front to buy my own ISBN and list it with Ingram myself, I will be able to sell it at an affordable price. I will even do some formatting magic and reduce its page count while increasing its font size. You won't be able to use it as a billy club anymore, but you could probably stun your attackers long enough to make a break for it.
And with the new edition, there comes a new cover!
Ah, summer vacation. When all the things you had been putting off come crashing down upon you in the space of a few short weeks, ensuring that whatever percieved break you may have envisioned was only the product of your sick, stress-starved mind.
During my summer vacation, which is over in a week's time, I made a Kickstarter for a new edition of Mister Mercury. The kickstarter will also go up in a week's time. But why did I make a Kickstarter for a book that's already out?
Well, throughout the year, since it came out in print, I have been trying to get it into book stores. The Lulu version might look great, and read very well, but it's incredibly expensive and Lulu doesn't offer a discount to book stores. So when I try to go into local book shops (which, in Portland, are about as common as fleas, because they like local EVERYTHING in Oregon), the answers they give me range from "Thanks, but no thanks," and "No way in Hell, and not in Heaven either, where there is no money and the roads are paved with gold."
My dark little corner of the internet has become, well, dark. I'm still in there, however, and if you squint, you can even see movement. Most of that movement is from doing research and typing, as I make school report after school report.
Some of that movement, however? Machinations. Conspiracies. Plots and, dare I say it, plans.
I am going to be making some personal appearences, each related to my writing, at not one, but three upcoming events.
It occurs to me that some people do not appreciate the finer points of digital skullduggery. Sure, I made a fine piracy edition of my eBook, where one can have the full book, free of charge, provided that one knows how BitTorrent works. Or that BitTorrent exists. This will allow people who can afford the book to get it through the proper channels, and for people who cannot to have means of getting it, provided they know how to install a program from the internet, and then download and open a file from that very same internet.
This was too much to presume, and I am sorry.
I am actually pretty happy with sales of the book: I have successfully covered the cost of producing it; I.E., the front cover, the back cover, the illustration inside, and the shield logo on the spine (talking about the print edition, here; the ebook has only the front cover and illustration). This without any advertising (well, maybe a little), and without having submitted it to any review sites. But I do actually want people to read it, as profit doesn't matter to me at this point (it's all up from here, baby). And you can't get a much more appealing price than free.
So for one month, the month of May, Mister Mercury is free on all eBook channels (except Amazon. I can't make it free without enrolling it in KDP select, which I can only do if I take it down from everywhere else. Since Amazon is the closest thing we have to pure and distilled evil, I will not play their game).
The print book of course can't be free, since Lulu does not use magic Giving Trees (which, as we all know, gleefully give up their wood for no money other than the price of a child's smile) to print their books. I can lower the price there, however. So I'll do that.
So if you haven't gotten the eBook yet and have a device with which to read it and no working knowledge of BitTorrent, now is your chance.
You can find all the necessary links here.
Ladies and people-who-should-have-been-banned-from-polite-society-centuries-ago, the time has come for me to make the declaration that the world of E-Reading kind of sucks.
The eBooks themselves are not at fault. Their file sizes are incredibly small, they easily transfer over the internet, and the majority of them are public domain, allowing millions of people without means to own and read digital copies of their favorite classics without having to pay a dime.
I worked hard on the Mister Mercury ebook. I made dang sure it was good and validated, that it had all its type fonts embedded, that its margins were hunky-dory, that its images were included, and that its cover was high-resolution. I was so pleased with it, I made a second, scallywag-themed version expressly for the purpose of allowing my readers to steal it if they so choose. And it paid off! It’s easy to navigate and looks beautiful on most any device it’s viewed on, unless that device happens to be a Kindle and therefore stupid.
So, the eBooks on their own are not inherently bad.
Everything else surrounding eBooks, however, is a clusterfuck.
The polite thing to do (and the common thing, in fact), would be to explain my absence from the Internet.
That is an expected behavior that infrequent bloggers such as myself.
To vanish without a trace with no explanation and then come back months later, palms to the air, and say, "Come on guys, life happened."
A paltry excuse is offered; infrequent blog posts resume, only to stop again a few months later. Life, in short, continues.
I will not do that.
Instead I will say that there is this thing called Read an Ebook Week on Smashwords, and Mister Mercury is part of it.
From March 2-8, Mister Mercury is free on Smashwords. You can purchase it (for nothing) here. All you have to do is enter the coupon code "RW100" at checkout and it is yours!
Of course, I could mention that Mister Mercury is always free consididering that I myself have released a special piracy editon for the exact purpose of allowing people to read it for nothing, because I would rather have them read it and not pay than to not read it at all.
But I will not do that.
That would be silly.
There's a promotion going on after all.
I wrote a book.
Perhaps I shouldn't say it was written, more like it was... forged. Molded. I took a chunk of raw material and beat it into shape over a long period of time-- too long.
I wrote my book in break rooms. I wrote it in restrooms. I wrote it when I was supposed to be spending time with other people. I stole time from work so I could work on it. I sat on it for a while. Some people threatened bodily harm if I didn't share it with the world. So I worked on it some more.