Before I say anything, let's get down to business.
BAM. Business concluded.
This amazing cover was brought to you by the amazing and talented Alex Pelyre. You might recognize him as the one who provided that excellent drawing at the end of my post about how Katniss Everdeen is not nearly as cool as Briar Wilkes. I reached out to him for a cover comission for the re-launch of Mister Mercury, and after much haggling on my end and much patience on his, this excellent piece of art came out. I couldn't be more pleased.
The Mister Mercury re-release is still going as planned, though you might not have noticed for the completely understandable reason that I haven't said a goddam thing about it. Well that's one of the reasons this website has been so dark lately. Now you know.
More details soon, but of course, I can't tell you much more. Mitchell Royce, play me out.
There are some days when I am forced to take a few steps back from my work and say, “You know, that was shit. That was certainly, definitely, feces.”
Sometimes even I admit that I need to take down the negativity a few notches. My last post is a prime example. I attempted to be clever but only came off as a hysterical, reactionary, bile-spewing shrew. You would never guess that I actually enjoyed the movie, would you? Of course not. I didn't say a single positive thing about it. All in the name of humor, which I also mostly failed at.
So while I retreat into the black folds of my mind for some soul-searching and introspection, here are some love letters that I got from a strange Italian woman and their accompanied translations. Special thanks to my friend Monica for those translations. Yes, I may have an Italian name but I don't speak a word of it. Also, I'm actually Hispanic. I've got what I call Al Madrigal syndrome: I may look white, but I'm actually Latino. So I get the unfortunately-won perks of straight white male privilege from our patriarchal neo-racist society, but I also get to cash in on that sweet, sweet Affirmative Action money. I know how awful that sounds but I already feel bad enough just by existing.
These letters get bonus points, because it inspired the person translating them to become a licensed sex therapist, for which she has just received her certification overseas. Congratulations Monica! This post is for you.
(I'm about to spoil Pacific Rim pretty majorly so avoid this post if you're planning on seeing it with fresh eyes. But once again I must say: Internet, spoilers, inevitability, etc).
It may not seem like it, since I'm posting an average of only two to three times per month here on my Online Empire, but I write quite a lot. I do at least a little writing every day, but most of the work is done on unpublishable short stories or the new novel. And novels-in-progress can't be posted on the internet (at least not by people who want to publish them one day), and so this site goes stagnant more often than maybe it ought to. For what it's worth, I've made quite a lot of progress on the new novel. I'd say it's shaping up nicely, but that's not true, since it's a first draft, and the only way a first draft can possibly shape up nicely is if it were written in the shape of something nice, like a beautiful woman or a turkey bacon sandwich.
I know I am prone to making grandiose statements, but this one, while particularly gigantic in its grandioseness, is probably very true. I will not deign to think that I know everything about you, or indeed anything at all about you. I'm only going to tell you what I know.
And what I know is that I probably like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a whole lot more than you do.
I'm not saying that I know more about it than you do, (even though that is probably true!) I'll just say that there's a good chance that I enjoy it, that I adore it, that I hold it in esteem far higher than than you do, more, likely, than any being on Earth capable of holding things in states of esteem, be they high or otherwise.
THIS WEBSITE WILL NOT TURN POLITCAL ON MY WATCH. It's supposed to be about writing, publishing, science fiction, feminism, my own personal works, and nerdy things. I got into a lot of trouble because of my strong and uninformed political views a few years ago (perceived trouble, mind you, not actual trouble), so I vowed that I wouldn't turn this corner of the internet into yet another political platform.
Many moons ago, I posted a link to my short story, The Devil Still Has My Lawnmower, to the “humor” section of reddit. It was the first link that I posted to the site, and it went off like a rocket. I got thousands of hits overnight and tumultuous, bountiful praise. I was excruciatingly excited. I immediately fired up a follow-up post thanking the wonderful beautiful people who shared my story with one another and promised to keep an eye out for anything with my name on it.
I said that there would be news about Mister Mercury, and then my website went dark for months without word of anything because my job dropped the Overtime Hammer on me, and I also lost all will to write due to the publishing situation involved with, well, Mister Mercury.
I'm trying to stay off the internet more these days for several reasons. It's a bottomless time sink. It's full of cats (As a bird lover, I simply cannot in good conscience like cats), it frequently ignites in flame wars between factions of people I don't care for over things I couldn't be bothered about. I've got shit to do. The internet is not the best place for one to go when one has got shit to do.