Also I'm a movie star.

It's difficult for people lacking humility such as myself to admit that they, like all humans, have limitations. One cannot be an expert in everything for the same reason one cannot live in twelve countries at once. You've got to pick your battles, and your areas of accomplishment accordingly.

The field I'm referring to is of course theatre, or theater if you want to spell things the American, incorrect way. I'm not especially terrible at acting, but neither am I that good. I'm about as comfortable admitting this as I would be peeling off my own fingernails with pliers.

Luckily, however, there exist people that I know that handily fill this tragic theatre void. As unfortunate as it is that I'm not able to rescue theatre as I'm able to rescue, say, the literature world or the English language, these people are willing and capable, and I'm okay with that.

One of those people is Stephen Root. Not that one. This is a new one, and I would say he's new and improved. He's gone and he's made a movie, and I'm in it. Luckily, I'm not playing a major role, which is good for two reasons: 1) as mentioned before, my acting leaves several things to be desired, and 2) my hair is really, really bad in it.

It really is so awful.

A lot of good friends from the community theatre that I used to volunteer for (Theatrikos) are in it. I had to leave Theatrikos on account of the world needing me to work on my astonishing writing talents, but I still see most of their shows. Stephen's girlfriend Sydney Tolchinsky plays slightly more jewish Zooey Dachenel type who rides on a Vespa and works at a flower shop; Matt Wilson and his amazing forehead (pictured above) plays a literary agent who fills the movie to the brim with increasingly more glorious Your Mom jokes; Eric Schultz plays the extremely photogenic title character; and Monica Gallo (seen at the end of the trailer) plays her awesome, Monica self.

He's not just photogenic, he's POSTER... genic.

Anyway, if you're in Arizona, check this movie out on February 24th. There's a website you can go to right here with a trailer and information on how you can see it or get tickets for it. It's a charming little movie with a lot of heart and, as Matt Wilson might quip, that's more than what you could say about your mom.

  • Jonny Eberle
    Comment from: Jonny Eberle
    02/12/12 @ 02:35:02 pm

    Looking forward to seeing your hair, Matt’s forehead, and your mom!

  • Alainsane
    Comment from: Alainsane
    02/12/12 @ 02:59:03 pm

    You Roman god, you. Are you in the trailer twice?!? There was someone standing in line at (the old?) Bookmans who looked like you but who didn’t look like the character in your screencap.

  • Comment from: Giandroid
    02/12/12 @ 03:01:22 pm

    I’m in the movie a bit more than twice… you’ll have to see it. You just might lose count.

  • Sydney Tolchinsky
    Comment from: Sydney Tolchinsky
    02/13/12 @ 11:17:14 am

    Giando’s appearances in this epic are so numerous that I believe he will become a drinking game. At the premiere anyone?!

  • Monica Gallo
    Comment from: Monica Gallo
    04/29/12 @ 08:02:58 am

    In reading this over again, I like how you said nothing about your character, minus the dislike of your mane. I really wish I could’ve been anywhere near the vicinity to see it, but alas, I must wait until it comes out on DVD or Blu-Ray or the imaginary projector in my mind … whichever comes first. And thank you for the badge of awesomeness, my mom really liked that. :)

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