Oh wait, I DO have something to write about

As fascinating as I am, it's not always easy to come up with blog posts, even though I am essentially the Picasso of the blogosphere (it's true, Picasso said it himself, in a dream). So sometimes there are long stretches of silence between the inspiring works of clarity and beauty that are my blog posts. How, I ask myself, do I showcase my unprecedented brilliance to the world more often? The world can't afford to have me fade into obscurity. It still needs so much fixing.

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On the Subject of my Awesome Hats

The descriptions I make of myself vary, ranging from “curmudgeonly” to “somewhat negative” to “cynical” to “terrorist.” But one thing that remains in all my self-musings is the fact that I wear hats, and that they are awesome. People lately have been asking about my hats, and what, exactly, makes them so awesome.

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Here's How I Know There Is No God

Because if god were real, that means that he supplied me with an intelligent mind, a desire to do good, the means to make it happen, and a sense of empathy, then stuck me in a world full of people with none of these things.


Fuck that guy.

Things I've Learned Being a Literature Prostitute

There's a mantra I have. When the going gets rough, and life gets me down, I just recite these words of wisdom and encouragement:

"People are stupid, and I hate them."

Never is this more apparent than when you've become an author and are suddenly solely responsible for spreading the Gospel of You. Got a book published? Congratulations. Put on some makeup, you're a whore now, just like your mom.

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Some hilarious Greek Mythology Comics

Kate Beaton, historical cartoonist and current fore-runner for "World's Best Person" has made some hilarious Greek mythology relationship comics.




Oh Kate, I'd say that you're the reason the sun comes up in the morning, but I already said that about Rebecca Mayes.

NPR is holding a contest to determine the best scifi/fantasy ever

Not that anyone is reading this (and if you are, goodonya), but NPR, as the title of the post suggests, is holding a contest to determine the best scifi/fantasy ever.

I encourage you all to submit. These are some completely biased and unreasonable guidelines I implore you to follow:


*Douglas Adams must be on there (Do you think Wikipedia would be around if it weren't for the Hitchhiker's Guide?)

*Ray Bradbury is a jerkface, but you should still include him,

*Marie Shelley's Frankenstein is a must,

*In Fantasy, Terry Pratchett's discworld is REQUIRED. Don't know who that is? FUCK YOU.

*Also, Neil Gaiman. He'll fit in either category, but the Sandman or American Gods are probably his objectively best works.


So get out there and comment!

I guess there's a launch party or something...

A guy I know,  hilariously named Tim Allen, owns a local bicycle-themed coffee shop called Kickstand Kafe. It's a pretty cool place, and one of the only places in town with TRULY comfortable couches (and not that oh-so-humiliating "faux comfort" like pretty much anything you buy from IKEA).

Anyway, I walked in on his shop one time after having not been in for something like three months, and the subject of my novel came up, at is is wont to do in any and all conversations with me, and how it's running on Eat Your Serial.

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And so Thursdays just got awesomer.

And... there we have it. Mister Mercury: A Modern Greek Myth is finally out on Eat Your Serial. I sent a massive email to essentially everyone I know, including:


- The designer of my favorite video game (Metal Arms: Glitch in the System),

- All my theatre chums (from my not-very-long gone acting days),

- The creative VP of that one studio that made that one comic that became that one Daniel Craig movie that isn't out yet,

- The author of a similar novel about Greek gods in modern day (except those gods are in London. Also, I talked with her before), and,

- Myself, just for good measure.


So far, it's been a lot of congratulations and promises to read later, and that's fine! As long as everyone understands I won't stop shamelessly promoting this thing until I break the internet.

And even then, I'd fix it myself and keep at it. How hard can it be to mend an international fiber-optic network? I mean, really.

So check out Mister Mercury: A Modern Greek Myth, every Thursday on Eat Your Serial. As a great man once said,

"It must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays."

See you next week!

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