Here is a scene from a movie I'm in

Sorry, internet, but as of this writing I'm still without a computer that weighs less than a compact car and is new enough not to remember the tragedy of George W. Bush. All I've got an old dinosaur of a Dell that processes with all the speed of a hand-cranked butter churner. It can run Word Perfect, but it's such a major pain in the bum that I don't like to use it more than a few times a week. And I'm afraid that I might break it. If THAT happens, my computer count will be down to... zero. I might even be forced to use pen and paper like some kind of savage.

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Please hold: Technical difficulties

So it turns out that one needs a functional computer to write these posts, and thanks to the crappy manufacturing standards of a certain Helwitt Packard computer company, I don't have that. Apparently they design computers that only last about 1-2 years, and I was silly enough to trust mine to last it more than 1.

Well! I won't be making that mistake again. And until I get a new machine I can't write for my website till further notice. I'm sorry, gentle readers.

I'll be back to save the world in no time.

Inspecto: Alchemist Steampunk Detective Wizard

It's tough being a genius. You never know when inspiration strikes, which is why I carry a huge notebook with me at all times and wear that ridiculous trench coat in which I keep it no matter the weather, circumstance, or social setting.

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People On the Internet Whom I Like

This post is long overdue, but now that I actually have some regular readers to share it with (cheers), it can actually do some good.

I actually know some of these people, too.

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Katniss Everdeen is Not Nearly As Cool As Briar Wilkes

The following contains spoilers for The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, the full length of which isn't really worth your time, and the Clockwork Century series by Cherie Priest, the full length of which definitely is, twice.

But if you're really that hung up about spoilers you shouldn't be on the internet anyways.

I used to be baffled by society's apparent obsession with 'strong female characters,' but then again, I also used to be a sexist asshole. If a character is capable, reasonable, and respectable, what did it matter whether they were male or female?

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Someone I don't even know has written a review for Mister Mercury

'Member that "book" thing that I wrote?

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A small post about something that I'm confused about

As I wait by the phone for prospective employers to call me (I really killed those interviews, even the one where I had no sleep whatsoever), my online journal sits empty and postless. Sure, I could upload the post I have written and ready to go, but if any of the aforementioned employers go looking for me on the interwebs, I don't ever want them to ask themselves, "Do we really want to hire someone who uses the word 'vagina' with such little prejudice?"

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The Mad Scientist is now free... FOREVER

Earlier when I posted that The Devil Still Has My Lawnmower & Other Tales of the Weird is now free, I wrote a post that did not exactly resemble what you see there today. I won't go into details, but it definitely did not contain the words "thank you" and certainly contained the words "people are jerks."

Upon further reflection-- and input from my special lady and the man who made the cover for it-- I decided to change it to a more light hearted and gracious tone. But the idea was still the same: My short story collection is now free, go get it!

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