I'm not dead, I'm just in Oregon

Few things are more irksome to read than "I'm sorry I haven't posted on my blog" posts on blogs. Luckily for you, I apologize to no one and answer to no man (or woman), as, being the greatest human being since Douglas Adams (the only man I'll admit who's greater than myself), it is the rest of the world who ought to thank me for the attention I give to it, and therefore not my responsibility to apologize for perceived misbehavior of any kind.

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Here are some monsters

I'm finished with my revision of Mister Mercury, and should hear about its chances in print publishing soon. So now that the thing that I was working on every single day without breaks for three months is done, here's some monsters that I drew for my friend Valerie (who once saved me from my own malfunctioning brain). I know that they were made with the mouse, but boo hoo, I don't have the technology to make it look as pretty as you want it. I'm still working with a netbook here. It's about time you see some of my drawings anyway (besides the one of Supreme Empress Bunny Bitch Ashes). Click on them for full sizes.

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My short story collection is free now because it's so great and everyone should read it

In the spirit of giving and kindheartedness, I've decided to say "thank you!" to my loving and caring fans by releasing my short story collection for free! Go and download a copy like many people have before! It reads on every device with a screen, and some that don't (depending on whether you're reading this in the future where we've developed totally awesome text to speech technology with proper enunciation and doesn't sound like a pair of robots fighting each other).

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Why I'm not using Reddit anymore

Reddit.com could be one of the greatest tools of the internet. It's accomplished many great things, from funding a bone marrow transplant for a leukemia victim, to organizing toy drives for bullied kids, to keeping suicide watch. It's good stuff, with some of the greatest, kindest souls on the internet doing great, kind things. There's a place there for everyone. Unless you're an artist who has made the mistake of trying to promote themselves, in which case, go fuck yourself.

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Revisions, revisions

Want to know something weird? When I posted about my Devil Still Has My Lawnmower short story collection, I actually LOST half my traffic! It eventually picked up after a few days, but still, for a while there it kinda seemed like my readers didn't want to be reminded that I'm a writer who occasionally publishes things and wants to sell them to people.

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The Devil Still Has My Lawnmower & Other Tales of the Weird: Go get it at Smashwords!

Well, it's Friday the 13th, so obviously I should release a short story compilation about devils, space aliens, magic, and L.Ron Hubbard, right?


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Ashes to Ashes, Dust Also to Ashes

Well, it's Easter Sunday, and you know what that means! It means that today, well-meaning people the world over are setting their little ones loose in bright green fields where either the Easter Bunny or Flying Bell has left goodies to find, all the while pondering what on Earth this has to do with their "savior" rising from the grave to "make things better" for "everyone."

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Coming soon... a short story compilation on Smashwords!

We can dispute a lot of things in this world, but not this: For every word I write, the world improves, just a little. Such is the power of my fiction. I would be more than a bit surprised if, at the end of my 2,500 year career (I plan on achieving immortality at some point), all of life's little ills will not have been solved, global warming hasn't reversed, the world's population doesn't stabilize, and Mars will not have become a teeming beacon of civilization. Oh, and Earth too, I guess.

Okay, so maybe we can dispute that, but one thing we definitely can't deny: My short stories are the most popular things on my site. The Devil Still Has My Lawnmower has raked in close to 5,000 readers and 8 Ball and Ouija Board has brought in close to 700.  People, it seem, like the cut of my jib.

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